OLD SPIDER & THE GIANT CLAM SHELL Rejigged creation story from the Polynesian island of Naura No sun ... no moon ... no land ... just ocean and nothing … And then from above ... Old Spider comes down … And there ... on the ocean ... drifts a Giant Clam Shell … Old Spider taps ... Old Spider knocks … A hollow sound ... an empty sound ... Old Spider chants ...Old Spider sings … The clam shell opens … Old Spider slips in … Dark as pitch ... black as coal … inside ... too cramped to stretch ... she crawls … She reaches out and touches something round & smooth … A coil-like form ...then wet and soft ...a snail ...a snail? She takes the snail and places it beneath her so that her magic might work upon it … And then she sleeps for 3 days and three nights … And then she sets it free to wend its slimy way ... But dark as pitch ...black as coal … inside ... too cramped to stretch ... she crawls … She reaches out and touches something round & smooth … A coil-like form ... wet and soft ... a snail? ... a second snail Larger than the first ...she places it beneath her … Then she reaches for the smaller snail and asks … “Can you open this shell a little ... so that I can sit?” And it was done … The halves of the clam shell parted & Old Spider stretched her legs at last… But dark ... it was still so dark ...so Old Spider took the first snail and put it in the west … In the upper half of the Giant Shell and it became the moon … Now there was a silvery light to see by … And by this light Old Spider saw a large worm & asked … “Can you open this shell a little … so that I can stand?” The worm said “Yes,” and no sooner commanded than began … To push ...to stretch and strain ...to heave and ho ... the joints and sockets creaked And groaned until the two halves of the Giant Clam Shell were prised wide open … So much sweat the worm had spent ...warm and wet it lay in the lower shell And this became the salty sea ... But the worm’s work was not yet done ... It wrenched the shell in two … And raised the upper half high above ...and this became the sky … And then the worm lay down to die ...breaking into many pieces … And these became the islands … And then Old Spider took the second snail and placed it in the east of the sky … And it became the sun … The sun that lights the day … And this is how ...so the people of the Islands tell … Old Spider made the World from a Giant Clam Shell many, many years ago. A rejigged tale by Clive PiG

Why is the Sky so High? A great while ago, in the mists of time, when the world was very young, the sky was down so low to the ground there was no room for all the big animals to stand or stretch & they were hunched & scrunched & aching so much they moaned & groaned & all thought together that something should be done ... & they thought & they thought, then they sang & they sang & they chanted words & magic spells to make the trees grow taller & as they grew their branches pushed the sky up higher & higher above the ground & as you know the trees were taller in those days, much higher than they are today & the sky went up & up & the animals stretched & stood up & jumped & some of them flew for the first time & the sky went up & up & got stuck to the sun & the moon & the stars & ever since then not even a bird soaring high has bumped its head on the sky again But as everyone knows, there's more than one side to every story & once upon a time other peoples told each other there had been a giant who wanted to chop open a coconut to drink it's sweet milk ... but each time she lifted her axe it kept knocking against the sky above her head & falling out of her large hands ... she couldn't get a wide enough swing to crack the coconut open ... she was so thirsty she became so angry she ranted & railed … eyes blazing, tongue lashing she kept shouting & cursing so loudly the sky got an earache & headache & drifted away out of earshot for some peace & quiet. But as everybody should be told, there can be more than two sides to every story & in another part of the world it was said that the sky was once down here ... all around us & that you could eat it & it tasted delicious but that people became lazy & greedy that the Sky god became so angry that he put the sky so out of reach so that people then had to start hunting & growing & cooking their own food for themselves. I don't know what to think. How about you?

Why Is The Sky So High? CHORUS Why,why,why,why G Why is the sky so high? C D X4 V1 I know that mommy loves me Em I know why grandad snores Am G Em We know we have no money & sleep upon the floor Monkeys they are screeching Em D Em Leopard stole their clothes Em D Em Why crocodile is smiling Em Everybody knows G Am Em CHORUS V2 If I was a giant I’d thread a million stars & hang them ’round my elephant & stomp to Zanzibar But we can’t drink the wind We can’t eat the moon Would someone out there please begin To tell us very soon CHORUS V3 The talking skull is silent The drummers never sleep & if it is a secret This one I won’t keep When the sun wakes in the morning I’ll climb onto the roof The elders will shout warnings but I want to know the truth CHORUS © Clive PiG

The Night Troll Trolls, trolls – terrible trolls! Trolls, trolls – wonderful trolls! Trolls, trolls – abominable trolls! Trolls, trolls – unbelievable trolls! Trolls, we are so horrible We make our own flesh creep. We roam about at nightfall As people go to sleep. We burst into your bedrooms And drag you to our caves. We then demand a ransom From your weeping relatives. Trolls, trolls – terrible trolls! If you want to survive you must pay a toll. Trolls, trolls – terrible trolls! Else we’ll eat you alive, yes, we’re in control. We love hoards of treasure As much as we can steal. It gives us as much pleasure As listening to you squeal. We have to fight with heroes Who try to rescue you. But they are really zeroes We bung them in the stew. Trolls, trolls – terrible trolls! We are so cool, we are so droll. Trolls, trolls – terrible trolls! We are not cute pretty little dolls. Terrorizing is such fun We’d do it all the time But we’re restricted by the sun It hurts us when it shines. We love to make you jump with fright But one thing makes us groan. If we’re out ‘til morning light Then we turn to stone. Trolls, trolls – terrible trolls! If you want to survive you must pay a toll. Trolls, trolls – terrible trolls! Else we’ll eat you alive, yes, we’re in control. Trolls, trolls – terrible trolls! We are so cool, we are so droll. Trolls, trolls – terrible trolls! We are not cute pretty little dolls. © Clive PiG

A WHALE OF A TALE A rejigged Inuit Folktale from Canada Way, way up in the far, far north there was once a boy who was always, always hungry. Now, he lived in an igloo with Grandma and one day, she looked up from her sewing and said ... “Ay boy … you've glumped down all the whale meat. Ay boy… you've guzzled all the fish oil. Ay boy … you've gobbled all the seal blubber. If you want anything else, go out and get it yourself!" Well, thought the boy, I am still rather hungry. So, he went out of the igloo and by the light of the midnight sun, he walked upon the frozen snow towards the shoreline. When, by and by, he saw, lying on the ice, a codfish. “Yummy, yummy, yummy,” said the boy. Up to the fish he went ... he grabbed it by its tail, ripped off its head and GLUMP! swallowed the codfish down. “M'mm that was good," said the boy, " but do you know what? I'm still hungry.” And so, he carried on walking along the shoreline when, by and by, he saw, lying on the ice … a seal. “Yummy, yummy, yummy”, said the boy. Up to the seal he went ... he grabbed it by its tail, ripped off its head and GLUMP! swallowed the seal right down. “M'mm, that was good," said the boy, " but do you know what? I'm still hungry." And so, he carried on walking along the shoreline when, by and by, he saw, lying on the ice ... an oogluk. "Yummy, yummy, yummy ", said the boy. Up to the oogluk he went ... he grabbed it by its tail, ripped off its head and GLUMP! swallowed the oogluk right down. "M'mm, that was good," said the boy, " but do you know what? I'm still hungry." And so, he carried on walking along the shoreline when by and by, he saw, lying on the ice ... a walrus. “Yummy, yummy, yummy,” said the boy. Up to the walrus he went … he grabbed it by its tail, ripped off its head and GLUMP! swallowed the walrus right down. “M'mm, that was good," said the boy, " but do you know what? I'm still hungry." And so, he carried on walking along the shoreline when, by and by, he saw, lying on the ice ... a great white whale. “Yummy, yummy, yummy,” said the boy. Up to the whale he went … he grabbed it by its tail, ripped off its head and GLUMP! swallowed the whale right down. "M'mm, that was good," said the boy, " and do you know what? I'm FULL!" But he was ever so, ever so thirsty. He looked around, and then he saw a pool of fresh, clear water. Somehow, he was able to bend down, and he drank the whole pool dry. And then he walked back home singing his favourite song. Hubba bubba Hubba bubba Hubba bubba ha. Hubba bubba Hubba bubba Hubba bubba ho! But when he arrived back at the igloo, he was so big ... could he get in through the door? “Grandma, what am I going to do? If I stay out here, I'll freeze!" Well, Grandma looked up from her sewing and said, “Ay boy, if you can’t get in through the door, try the window.” “Eh?” said the boy. But Grandma was usually right. So, he went ’round to the other side of the igloo. Could he get through the window? “Grandma, I can’t get in through the window, it’s even smaller than the door. What am I going to do? If I stay out here, I’ll freeze!” Well, Grandma looked up from her sewing and said, “Ay boy, if you can’t get in through the window, try the smoke hole.” “Eh?” said the boy. But Grandma was usually right. So, he went ’round the back of the igloo, piled up some snow, tamped it down and climbed onto the roof. But could he even get his head through the smoke hole? “Grandma, I can’t get in through the smoke hole. It’s even smaller than the window. What am I going to do? If I stay out here, I’ll freeze.” Well, Grandma looked up from her sewing and said, "Ay boy, if you can't get in through the smoke hole, try the eye of my needle". “Eh?” said the boy. Then Grandma held up the whale bone needle towards him and, believe this if you will. The boy began to change shape. He shrank smaller and smaller until he fell through the smoke hole. He slipped headfirst through the eye of the needle, tumbled onto the floor, and knocked over the seal oil lamp. There was a flash and a crash! A BABOOM and a BANG! Everything went whiter than white. Snowflakes hung in the air, then began to gently fall. And there, standing in a pool of water was Grandma. And swimming slowly around her was a codfish, followed by a seal, followed by an oogluk, followed by a walrus, followed by a great white whale. And sitting on the back of the whale, was the grandson. And that, I hope you’ll agree, is certainly a whale of a tale.

The Tea House In The Forest Rejigged tale from Japan INTRO…. a…Journey…35secs I remember…one time in Japan…I’d hitched up with a couple of guys …we’d found out about a spring festival…it started at sunrise the next day…well, we’d planned to get to the village by nightfall, find a place to stay & be ready first thing to watch the procession at dawn… …but you know the day was really piping for that time of year…they’d been having some freaky weather lately…& we kept stopping at tea houses along the road just to cool down & by the evening we’d still a way to go…we were at the edge of a forest & we’d aimed to have been on the other side by nightfall…what to do? b…Discussion between companions…1.10 …I was all for pressing on but the other two wanted to find a place to stay nearby & set off first thing in the morning…I disagreed…I knew they’d never get up early enough & I’d heard that the best part of the festival was seeing the procession as the sun rises…have you ever been to the summer solstice at Stonehenge in England? that’s cool…anyway I couldn’t change their mind…so I just said I’d press on through the forest & see them at some point tomorrow… c…traveller goes alone into the forest…2.00 …there were still a couple of hours of daylight left & I reckoned I’d be through the forest before night fell completely…There was a path through the trees & it was quite easy going to begin with…but after a while it started to rain… you know that quiet steady rain that seems to seep right through your clothes & skin right to you bones…& of course, the clouds blocked out the last weak rays of the sun…I wasn’t worried though…I reckoned I was halfway through the forest…I had a torch & there was an easy trail to follow…but then the trees began to thin out … d…& comes to tea-room…2.40 …& I came to a clearing & there was a tea-house…huh! …I couldn’t believe it…& the lights were on too…the sliding door was open…I know I should have pressed on but I was intrigued…& hey I thought isn’t this what traveling’s all about ?… e…atmosphere of tearoom…2.58 I went up the steps & looked inside…I couldn’t see anyone but it looked very inviting…rush mats on the floor …one of those charcoal braziers (hibachis?) & bamboo screens, lacquered tables etc…you know the style, also I saw a bottle of rice wine & a cup on a tray…that was very tempting… so I took off my boots & left them on the veranda…& went inside… f…enters beautiful girl…3.20 I called out…no-one answered…I thought of helping myself to a cup full of sake when I heard the sound of footsteps coming down from upstairs, then a door opened & from behind a screen I saw a girl come in about 17 she was…she looked amazing…her hair was as black as a raven…her face as white as snow & her lips blood red…I know that sounds clichéd & clumsy…but you know…I’m not a storyteller…she wore a red silk kimono with silver spider web patterns on & her sleeves were so long they almost touched the floor…she was carrying one of those Japanese musical instruments…a shamisen or samisen..you know..the guitars with only 3 strings? it was covered with black leather 4.10 samisen // n. a long three-stringed Japanese guitar, played with a plectrum. [Japanese from Chinese san-hsien, from san ‘three’ + hsien ‘string’] 4.15 …she put it down on a mat …& then poured some sake & brought it too me…it felt a bit spooky…cos she didn’t say a word & she seemed to glide across the floor…like the wind gently blowing a blade of grass…she bowed before me gave me the cup & I was about to say thank you when she put her finger to her lip & softly went sh!… well I sipped the wine…it was warm like a kiss & she gestured for me to sit…she poured me some more sake…I didn’t realise I’d already finished the first cup…then she picked up the 3 stringed guitar & began to play… g…begins to play samisen 4.52 (but start to talk at 5.23) …strange & beautiful music…I just kept thinking the others are missing something here…& I thought of my girlfriend back in England too…she’s not my girlfriend now…we finished when I got back…well that’s another story…anyway …the wine & the music was making me drowsy…I was mesmerised by the girl, hypnotised by sound …spellbound man! sometimes she played quietly but when she plucked the middle string it sounded louder & I’d feel a kind of tightness around parts of my body & when I touched there the feeling would go away…but the louder & faster she played the tighter the feeling got…as if I was being bound by invisible cords…tied up!..i looked at her & her eyes were burning like coals…I thought something must have been put in the wine to make me see & feel things like that…anyway it got worse the music made me feel scared…I got really paranoid… …then she plucked the middle string & it snapped with a twang & it sprang towards me like a snake & began to lash me to the pillar behind me…it was just a reflex action I still had a hand free & got my penknife from out of my pocket…I slashed at the string as it wrapped around my throat & but it was knocked out of my hand & flew into the samisen…it pierced the body of it & stuck in fast……then the music stopped 6.44 … & the breath seemed to go out of the girl…she looked sad & slowly turned & walked across the room & then went up the stairs… h… left alone…7.30 …so there I was tied to a pillar alone in the room…it felt really spooky…it had turned really cold…the fire had died down & the oil lamp flickered & went out it all went dark…I think I passed out 7.47 …when I came to, it was dawn… everything had changed…all the mats on the floor were tattered & torn…everything was covered in dust…the door had fallen out….there was rubbish everywhere…& where the bottle & cup had been there was just a big & a small stone…had it all just been a dream? but no! … I was still bound to the pillar … i…arrival of friends…8.10 …then from outside I heard voices…it was the two guys I’d left behind…hey look one said…The Three Strings Tea House….whoever thought of having a tea house in the middle of a forest…no wonder it went to rack & ruin… …Hey guys…I called out… you couldn’t do me a favour could ya?…they rushed in you should have seen their faces…gobsmacked to say the least…anyway, they cut me loose …I told ‘em what had happened & then we went to find the girl… j…trail of blood…9.00 there was a trail of blood on the floor …it led us to a rotten staircase & we followed it upstairs, where in a corner, under the eaves, was a humongous spiders web …& underneath it lay a gigantic dead spider with my penknife stuck right in it…the other two freaked out…it was hilarious….they ran away like Shaggy & Scooby Doo… k…leave for festivities…9.50 I caught ‘em up & calmed them down… …anyway…we made it to the festival just as the procession ended but it didn’t matter…the rest of the day was great & I met a gorgeous woman there from New York & hung out with her for a coupla weeks…the other guys stayed for a few days & then just moved on…but I bet they’re still telling that story ,of the morning, they found me all those years ago, tied up, in The Tea House In The Forest. FIN 10.50 approx. Rejigged tale by Clive PiG

Skeleton Woman Intro: Aye, aye, aye etc… Start on C Clive There was once an Inuit couple who had only one daughter. When she was old enough, her mother & father told her it was time to marry,but the girl refused. Rosina I do not wish to marry anyone. I want to stay here with you. This is my home. C Her parents begged & pleaded but she would not listen to them. Day after day she sat stubbornly by the fire with he arms crossed & her nose in the air, refusing their pleas. Many young men came to court her … All the great hunters. R I don’t want your sealskins … C … the best & the bravest R I don’t want these caribou hides … C … the most handsome & strongest … R Your robes of ptarmigan feathers don’t impress me. I don’t like them … I don’t want them … & I don’t like you! C & there she sat by the fire with her arms crossed & her lips buttoned & there she might have stayed … Until one day, as the last rays of the arctic sun began to fade from the sky, two young hunters appeared at the door. They were dressed all in white. The girl stared at the two brothers. She had never seen such fine men before … they seemed mysterious to her in their silence & she was drawn to them. R I will leave now … I am going with these two hunters … I will go into the night with them … as they lead me through the village, I will walk behind them … I will follow them across the ice …faster & faster they walk … faster & faster I run … faster & faster & faster ...WAIT! FOR ME! C & then suddenly, before her eyes the two men began to change … R Your robes are slipping away … your shoulders are hunching up … your hands have turned to paws … your nails have turned to claws … you’re not who I thought you were…you’re really... C … polar bears! The girl screamed as she was dragged over the ice … her hood ripped & flew into the wind … her long hair streamed behind … R Let me go….! Let me go! C & they did let her go ... they dropped her into a hole in the ice & down & down they pushed her ... (down, down, down through the cold grey waters down, down, down to the bottom of the sea) R … I’m falling … C ... down & down she sank … R … I’m sinking … C But she was not drowning … R I’m sinking but I am not drowning. C Down & down through the cold waters … until she reached the ocean floor. R It’s so cold but I can breathe & the sea creatures swimming around me seem curious, but friendly enough … C But then one bit her arm, another bit her leg Another bit her belly & another bit her head They tore off all the skin as she thrashed about in pain They gobbled down her liver & they swallowed up her brain. The young girl had become SKELETON woman! R At the bottom of the ocean it’s so dark, but up there far above, there is a dim light. I will go that light ... up through the icy waters I will swim to the light above … it’s getting closer & closer & look, I can see a hole, a small round hole, just enough for me to squeeze through … C & squeeze through she did … but when she looked around her, for miles & miles on toward the horizon, all she could see was ice & snow. R No village … No people … No fire … No-one but me … C Nothing … Nothing … Nothing … C As she sat on the ice, Skeleton Woman began to remember. She remembered her parents’ home & the platform outside where they kept the caribou meat to dry… She remembered her father’s spear which he used for hunting sea & fish. Skeleton woman fell asleep & dreamed of all these things. … & when she woke up in the morning, there before her, was an igloo & the platform holding caribou hides ... & there was a spear, just like the one her father used … She took the spear, & all day long she hunted by the hole in the ice. Each night she dreamt of her parents’ home & each morning her own home became more like it. R But I am lonely… no people ever come here. C Until one day, two black dots appeared on the horizon … & as they came closer, she could see they were hunters. R See me I am here. Come into my house & sit by the fire & share my food C At first, they came to greet her but when they saw she was a Skeleton Woman they ran away. R No-one will ever come to me here, for they will always see I am nothing but a Skeleton Woman. I will always, always be alone. C When the hunters returned home, they saw their father. He was an old, old man & it was time for him to leave his family, to end his life by going out onto the ice. But his sons took pity on him & told him that if he walked out across the ice towards the North Star he might meet Skeleton Woman who might take him in. The old man started out & this time a single black dot appeared on the horizon & as it got closer to her, it changed shape … R Come in, come in … I have lit the stone lamps… have some dried fish & when you have finished take these ivory needles, take this wooden hoop, take this walrus skin & make me a drum … & then play for me… C & that’s what he did … Aye Aye Aye etc. & when he had finished, the old man had changed into a powerful hunter dressed in sealskin, with long black hair & flashing eyes … young & strong. R Play once more … while I dance… Aye Aye Aye etc… C & when the drumming & dancing ended, she was no longer a Skeleton Woman. R Now I am young & whole again. C In the dawn light they walked together over the ice until they reached the village. The hunters & their families saw them coming … but they did not recognise them. R I was a girl & then I became a Skeleton Woman & this was your old father. Now we are young again. He will be my husband … & I will be his wife. C & they walked off together, carrying the drum between them, to make a new life, elsewhere. R& C Aye aye etc… © Clive PiG